When I was in the third grade, a couple of friends and I were doing some mindless drawing. Things took an interesting turn when I attempted to draw Stewie Griffin, the football-headed baby from Family Guy. 

 

It really looked nothing like the character—but my friends were in awe! Soon, others caught wind, and before I knew it, everyone in the class wanted their own copy of this unconventional-looking Stewie Griffin.

 

Sensing an opportunity, me and my two friends began mass-producing them by the tens! The class couldn’t get enough. We started releasing other renditions—President Stewie, Surfer Stewie, Gary Busey Stewie (that was a weird one; still don't know why we released it... tested horribly), ASTRONAUT STEWIE!

 

The fame and attention were great, but where was the reward for enriching our classmates with such fine art? So, The Bank of Stewie was established, and we began printing Stew Bucks, which were required to purchase an official Stewie. Soon enough, Stew Bucks became the official currency of the class, used to trade for almost anything.

 

The beginning of the end came when the craze spread to other classrooms. Outsiders began counterfeiting Stew Bucks. Mass inflation ensued; chaos erupted. It wasn't long before the FTC (Mrs. Metrano) stepped in and shut the whole operation down. It was a sad day. I was truly disappointed, but I learned something valuable from the whole fiasco.

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With creativity, you can turn almost nothing into something massive… and maybe, just maybe, I could build a career out of it.

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Now, here's one of my favorite monologues ever written:

Mr. Madison, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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